Rock paper scissors--this is a game that I have not lost a single
time since I was a child. My secret strategy has always been to
throw three rocks in a row. Think about it, it is the natural thing
to do. Your hand is already in the fist shape as you pound away
"one two three go!" might as well just keep it it that formation,
the natural formation, the rock formation. People who maybe have
never had the pleasure of working with stone often tell me "wow,
that must be hard work"! But looking at rock-paper-scissors, at
least in this scenario, throwing "rock" is clearly the easiest
choice. Back to my strategy--three "rocks" in a row. This gambit is
known as the avalanche, and it's not hard to see why it is so
effective. Rock. It is obviously the strongest of the three, the
most sturdy, durable, will obviously long outlast paper which is
sure to disintegrate with but a few months of exposure to the
elements.
The scissors won't be long behind.
Let's examine the issues from a more utilitarian perspective. Give me
a few good rocks... what can we do with these? Well, we could build,
for example, an arch--one of the strongest architectural structures
ever discovered:
Elegant and beautiful in its simplicity, no?
Sure, you could build a similar structure from paper, but the thinner
arrangement of papers' material basis requires many more "sheets".
Five hands stacked atop each other flat just won't make a full arch,
and the logistics of getting many more hands together and working in
concert.... it is very discouraging. Plus we'd all be palm upon palm
and some of y'all get kinda clammy and gross. I could see the logistics
working, but we'd have to sever the hands first in order to make it
work. Without seeing a proof of concept first, I am just not willing
to do all that cutting.
We tried to replicate the arch, using only scissors, in the name of
science we tried.
The results were discouraging at best.
But this entire dissertation is really just me throwing a bunch of scholarly
erudition at a problem that I had solved back in the fourth grade, using
nothing more than natural human intuition:
Nothing beats rock.
I leave you now with a quotable quote from a wise man of much reknown:
"I have seldom encountered any problem in life so vast or insurmountable,
that throwing a few well aimed rocks (1) at it didn't improve matters somewhat"
Doctor Izzle Ignatious
Footnotes:
1) I believe the emminent Doctor Izzle would agree with me that a rock aimed in anger is not a well aimed rock